Quilting, Stitches, & Crafts Expo... With Friends

I went to the Quilting, Stitches, & Crafts Expo at the Sharonville Convention Center in Sharonville, OH on Thursday. It was my first real outing since starting my chemo. I've been to the grocery store, but that's pretty much it. My dear friend and Quilter Extraordinare, Carolyn (of carolynscanvas.com fame) asked me a couple of weeks ago if I'd like to go, presuming I felt like it, of course. So, we, along with our other friend Mary (who also happens to be our pastor's wife) piled into Mary's car early Thursday morning and headed off to the big city.

I wish I had the time to sit and describe my two friends. Sitting here, I have a broad smile plastered on my face because I cannot think of either of them without first being grateful that God saw fit to bring them into my life and then second being grateful for all the humor they have each brought to my life as well. They are wise, trusted friends and mentors, but they are also a fairly constant source of hilarity. I think the best way to explain it is to tell the story of the crown of thorns. (Keep in mind that I cannot do this without laughing out loud. The laughter tears don't usually start until I watch the video.)

We all attend a small, Independent Baptist Church together. (Like I said, Mary's husband is our pastor.) We usually have a Mother/Daughter Banquet each year. A few years back a group of us were getting the church ready for the banquet. There is a large wooden cross that hangs over the baptistery. Someone had given the church a crown of thorns but it had never been placed on the cross. Mary decided that she wanted it put in place for the banquet. Keep in mind, there are five of us there and not a single one of us happened to have a ladder handy. So, Mary and Carolyn put their heads together and improvised. I happened to have my camera on hand and I recorded much of the event. I was a little sick at the time and was doing everything in my power not to laugh too hard or to surrender to the coughing fit my laughter was triggering. Please, brace yourself for what is to follow.....
 

(Wiping tears from my eyes...) You have to understand that that crown had fallen off those brooms several times BEFORE I remembered that my camera could take video. I was convinced that before it was all over, our crown of thorns would be nothing but a crown of vines because all the thorns would have broken off in the countless falls to the bottom of the baptistery! But, they eventually got it up there and it is in exactly the same position to this day. (This was filmed in June of 2008.)

So, you see what it's like when Mary and Carolyn get together. This is just one of their many adventures. Needless to say, my day at the quilt expo was filled with lots of laughter, which was just what I needed. We had a wonderful time. At least I did. And when we got back to Mary's house, Carolyn reminded me that she had some food she'd fixed for me in her freezer. Mary suggested I go by to pick it up then, which was a wonderful idea because it meant I didn't have to cook today! So I followed Carolyn home and she packed up a meatloaf, several twice-baked potatoes, an ice cream bucket of vegetable soup, another ice cream bucket of chili, 2 quart jars of canned tomatoes, and a plate of pineapple upside down cake. Then we visited for a while longer before I finally went home with my army's worth of food.

We had the meatloaf and potatoes for lunch of Friday. I'm going to probably have some of the soup Saturday. Thank you, Lord, for my friends!

Here are just a few of the pics I took at the quilt expo:

There are lots more, of course. It was a really nice show with a lot of beautiful pieces of art. As I've said, I had a wonderful time. Carolyn's sister, Shirley (who has her own heavy cross to bear) had lunch with us and gave me a daily devotional book called, Streams in the Desert. She included a very sweet personal note. I love the book already.

I wish I could have gotten this posted a little sooner, but I was pretty worn out Thursday by the time I got home and I was busy most of Friday, so it's taken me this long. I have several other things I'm hoping to get put up in the next couple of days, but I do have my next chemo on Monday and I don't know how that will go. Hopefully, it'll be as easy as the first one was.

Hope everyone has a blessed day!

P.S. If anyone is interested, the music in the video is "What Grace Is Mine" by Keith & Kristyn Getty.

Count Your Blessings!

Woke up so thankful this morning. I've been feeling bad since Thursday night. I thought it was a cold at first, because I had a sore throat and my chest hurt like it was full of congestion. So I took meds to help with that and by Saturday night, I was starting to think it might be something else. My chest and shoulders were aching so bad. All the muscles across my neck and shoulders were drawn up like bow strings. Any deep breath caused a pain in my upper chest and shoulders. I was really starting to worry that something was seriously wrong. The fever I was running never climbed above a degree, so by Sunday I was pretty sure it wasn't an infection or a serious cold. I hadn't taken anything for the pain because it would also have masked the fever. I got fed up with it on Sunday, though, and finally took some Tylenol. It helped a lot. So I waited well past the 6 hours that it can be effective and checked my temperature again, which was still low, and took some more. Before I went to bed last night I took another dose and I woke up feeling much, much better this morning. I haven't taken anything at all today, and still feel fine.

So, I don't know exactly what was going on, but it seems to have cleared up. I will, of course, speak to my Dr. about it, but I'm just so thankful that it is better. I was really afraid for a while there that I was going to be spending the weekend in the ER. That is NOT something I wanted to do! Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayers!

Blessing #2: I realized late last night that things are mostly tasting normal to me again. I've counted myself blessed already because I haven't had a particularly bad taste in my mouth and have not developed any mouth sores, both of which would have made eating unpleasant. The only real issue I've noticed is that nothing seems to taste right. Actually, it's like my taste buds are all dulled. Nothing has the flavor it should have. I noticed a few days after chemo that I was kinda sensitive to pepper and thought I might have to avoid it, but I've actually been using more of it and salt and other spices in an effort to make food taste like something. I have this Mango/Orange juice in the fridge that I usually LOVE but it hasn't tasted like anything at all for a few days so I haven't been drinking it. I had some last night and while it may still taste a little "weak," it tastes much better than it did before. So I plan on trying to finish it off over the next few days before I get my next chemo and have to start the whole process over again. The taste distortions can be compounded with each treatment, so I want to enjoy my juice - and anything else I like - while I can just in case the dulled taste lasts longer next time.

There are, of course, countless more blessings in my life. My husband, friends, family, even the medical doctors and treatments are a blessing. When you get that diagnosis of cancer, it would be very easy to sit there and start asking, "Why me?" But I've chosen to instead be grateful that my cancer isn't worse, that I live in a time when we have treatments that are far superior to what was available just a few years ago, and when I have resources like the internet to help with my research into my disease and to find others who have been there before me and can offer invaluable advice, support, and encouragement. I've mentioned it before, but I want to do so again. The Cancer Survivors Network has been of TREMENDOUS help to me. Visit them, even if you don't have cancer. You will find an amazing group of people there who refuse to allow a cancer diagnosis to define who and what they are.

I also want to mention an item that I ordered off the web and received Saturday. I've seen the poem before, the first time when my mother-in-law was fighting brain cancer, I think. I loved it's message and after I got my diagnosis I did a web search and found this pendant at Sticky Jewelry, Inc.

I had to laugh when I received it, because the print is very tiny, though I can read it. Mark took one look at it and handed it back to me. The pic is much, much larger than actual size, but I'll still reprint the words below it, just to make it easier for anyone out there with less than stellar eyesight. :)

What Cancer Cannot Do...

It cannot...

invade the soul

suppress memories

kill friendship

destroy peace

conquer the spirit

shatter hope

cripple love

corrode faith

steal eternal life

silence courage

Sicky Sickness Stay Away

Okay, the dreaded chemo crash that I expected on Wednesday hasn't really manifested itself. At least, not in any way that I expected. Considering the whole "wrapped in cotton" feeling my brain had on Wednesday, I expected to be counting myself fortunate to string together more than a few grunted syllables by Thursday, or Friday at the latest. But then I felt much better on Thursday. Not quite so tired, not so "foggy." So Mark and I ran a few errands that needed to be done.

First off, I reckon I should mention that Mark convinced me to buy some masks at Wal-Mart back when we were doing The Great Chemotherapy Shopping Extravaganza. The idea came not from anything we were told officially by any medical person, but from a little old man who came into the treatment center with his wife and wanted a mask to protect himself from the rest of us. So, I looked at Mark and thought, "that's probably not such a bad idea." Mark, of course, was all for it. He is a germaphobe at heart. So, we got the masks but I have not put them in my purse and so have not actually used one while out in public. As logical and rational as it is - even smart - to protect myself from all those germs out there, I just haven't quite been able to put myself into a frame of mind to go out in public looking like some paranoid Asian during the bird flu scare.

So, what have I gotten for my pride and hesitation? SICK! Yes, that's right, I'm sick with some kind of pesky chest cold. I felt the beginnings of a sore throat Thursday night, then woke up feeling much worse on Friday morning. I had a temperature of about a degree, which isn't much of course, but it was enough to worry me because I knew it meant I was really sick. The instructions we're given as chemo patients is that if we get sick - as in running a fever - we are NOT to treat it with anything that will bring the fever down. No Tylenol, ibuprofen, Alieve, etc. This is because they will only mask the fever, lowering it artificially without doing anything at all for whatever is causing it. So we are to watch the fever, check it often, and if it hits 101, we go directly to the ER. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

My fever has never risen above a degree or so, which I am so very thankful for. I do not want to wind up in the hospital. I do not want to have to postpone any of my treatments while I try to fight off some bug. I called the Dr's office Friday morning, just to give them a heads up about being sick, then started rummaging through the medicine cabinet looking for something to take. Everything - and I do mean EVERYTHING - was expired! I guess I haven't been really sick for a while. I did have some NyQuil, but it contains Tylenol, plus alcohol, so I couldn't use it. Plus, my chest was aching, leading me to conclude that what I really needed was an expectorant to break whatever was in there up. So we made a trip down to CVS, I paid way too much for something I could have gotten at half the price at Wal-Mart, and I started taking some Mucinex. I am also using my inhalers, which have at least helped to keep my chest from feeling so terribly tight.

I've been taking the Mucinex since Friday afternoon, and I can feel it finally working a bit. My chest still aches some, but I can tell that I need to start coughing this mess up and out. Not looking forward to that, seeing as how coughing is uncomfortable. But I gotta do what I gotta do.

The long and short of this whole thing is, I reckon I will be wearing a mask in public from now on. At least I'll wear one any time I'm in a crowd of any size. I am already carrying around hand sanitizer and antibacterial wipes, this will just be one more thing to add to the circus. That's the funny thing about this whole process. Pride is one of the first things to have to get chucked out the window. The whole hair loss thing bothered me. Still does a little. But ultimately, I realize that I don't much care what I look like so long as I feel half-way decent. I joked with Mark that I ought to shave my legs but I'm holding out for the chemo to finally kick in and save me from having to do that chore again for a while. My legs are hairy and I don't care.

Hmmm.... sing with me (to the tune of Jimmy Crack Corn):

My legs are hairy and I don't care,
my legs are hairy and I don't care,
my legs are hairy and I don't care!
Chemotherapy!

Warning! Chemo Crash Ahead!

Monday and Tuesday were so nice. No sickness, no tiredness, no achiness, no chemo brain. And then I woke up this morning...

To be fair, I'm still not feeling too bad. My lower back is aching a little, possibly from the Neulasta shot on Tuesday. I'm much more tired today that I have been. Wears me out to do much of anything. Still no nausea, thank the Lord! But the chemo brain has made an auspicious appearance.

I can't really go into a lot of detail seeing as how this is a public blog, open to all the world to read and I don't want to be one of those stupid people who tells the entire world when the house will potentially be empty or when I might be home alone. I have guns and a LARGE Chow mix with an attitude, plus 2 Bulldogs, but these days you just can't be too careful. Sad, but true.

Suffice it to say that I woke up, took a look at the time projected on the ceiling from Mark's clock, and woke him up to tell him he had to get up. This was, unfortunately, not true. For some reason, my chemo addled brain saw one time when it was actually another. We went back to sleep after straightening out the mistake, then after Mark went to work he called to check on me and told me he was telling people the chemo brain is setting in.So glad he's out there making me look good!

Anyway, I don't feel bad, per se, but I feel far less perky than I did the previous 2 days. I was hoping the Decadron (steroid) pills would keep that steroid high going at least through tomorrow, but no such luck it seems. Monday and Tuesday must have been a result of the massive dose they give me right before administering the chemo.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully, it won't be any worse than today. But even if it is, I know God will get me through it!

PS: a quick shout out to my precious friends: Carolyn-who is working on getting me set up with some scarves and hats made by her very own hands (mine too, if I can work up the engergy); Anita-who keeps calling to make sure I'm okay and to let me know she's still praying for me; and Val-who is always ready to take me anywhere I might need to go, or maybe to bring over some dinner or anything else I might possibly need. I am so very, greatly blessed to have these women in my life. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of their friendships!

The Lydia Project

I have spent a lot of time on the Cancer Survivor's Network and through them learned of many resources out there for cancer patients. I'll talk about some of them as I get more experience with them. One of the first that I have dealt with is The Lydia Project. This is a Christian group, based in Georgia, who will make a small tote bag for any woman going through cancer. Each bag is handmade and unique. Here is their biography:

About Lydia

Lydia provides free services to women facing any type of cancer anywhere in the world. This support includes ongoing correspondence and encouragment every month for at least twelve months. Every woman receives a handmade tote made by the loving hands of volunteers and filled with encouraging items.

In many cities nationwide, physician offices and hospitals distribute Lydia totes directly to patients. Visit Lydia'sHealthcare Partnersto see if your community is already a part of the Lydia network. Women in all 50 states and many other countries have received totes and support from Lydia. Dedicated volunteers serve from all over the nation providing encouragement to women and their families.

Lydia also provides rent, utility, and prescription assistance to women who are unable to afford these basic expenses while undergoing cancer treatment and who reside in Aiken, Burke, Columbia, McDuffie and Richmond Counties.

The Lydia Project is a grassroots 501(c)3 non-profit charity begun by a group of Augusta, GA businesswomen in 2003. The project is named for Lydia, who appears just briefly in the Bible. (Acts 16: 14-15). She was a successful businesswoman in the trade of purple cloth. Using her gifts, Lydia extended a hand to those in need. In the same way, Lydia's purple-handled totes include a network of support and are monogrammed with "faith" "hope" or "love"~ ensuring women and their families are not alone during such a devastating time.

The Mission of The Lydia Project is to serve women facing cancer by providing hand-crafted tote bags, prayer and ongoing support.

I requested a tote from them some time last week and it arrived on Friday, August 27. Here is what I received:

Here is the tote. I had the option to choose a tote that said either Faith, Hope, or Love. I chose Faith.

Here is what was inside the tote: pamphlet about The Lydia Project, a Journal, some lotion, tissues, pens, and a personal letter letting me know they would be praying for me.

The prayer request card that was tucked into the front pocket of my tote, along with a note letting me know the name of the person who made it for me.

I was so impressed with this group. Just to know there is someone out there who cares enough to make the effort to help people they don't even know is a comfort in this day and age of "everyone for themselves." The Lydia Project is by no means the only helpful service out there, they are simply the first I dealt with and received a response from. I will mention others as they come along.

Please, if you have time, visit The Lydia Project, and see if you might be able to help them in any way. They are providing a wonderful gift to cancer patients everywhere.

Port Placement and First Chemo

I got to the hospital and got my port placed this morning. No problems with it. They used what they called "heavy sedation" which did not put me out completely. I felt almost nothing besides a couple of sharp pinches. Then it was off to the treatment center for that first round of adrimycin and cytoxin: the chemo cocktail that I'll be taking for the first 4 rounds, given every two weeks. That's going to be 2 months worth. Then I'll be switching to a cocktail of taxol and herceptin. The TH (as it's called) will be given once a week for 4 weeks, then we'll drop the T (taxol) and continue with the herceptin every 3 weeks for a year. Sometime after the end of the Taxol, I'll be doing the radiation 5 days a week for 5-6 weeks. Unless my radiology oncologist suggests otherwise, I'll be doing the herceptin in conjunction with the radiation. If she would rather that I stop it, we will during the course of the radiation, then we'll pick it right back up when I'm done. Either way, I'm looking at almost a year and a half of treatment, give or take a few weeks and assuming that there are no issues that come up which might delay the treatment. Lord willing, that won't be a problem!

Tomorrow morning I have to go back down to the treatment center to get a Neulasta shot. This is to help boost my cell counts since I'm going every 2 weeks and that isn't enough time to let them recover naturally. I'll be right in the middle of the cell count low point when I have to go in for the next course. So the Neulasta will boost those counts. Unfortunately, this means it also causes bone/joint aches and pains as it stimulates the bone marrow to make new cells. This is supposed to last only a few days, but I'm not looking forward to it! I don't know it the aching will start tomorrow or Wednesday, but I'm hoping it'll be lather rather than sooner, and that maybe it won't be really painful at all.

So far, the only hints of side effects I've seen was one small hint of nausea that was easily remedied with a Compazine, a lot of acid reflux, and a bit of an "off" taste in my mouth. Nothing too bad. Mark was eating some baby carrots with blue cheese dip earlier (something I usually love) but one bite was enough to let me know that I won't be eating any of that for a while. The carrots were fine, but that dip was crazy bitter to me. So, it's out until my taste returns to normal. :(

Anyway, things are going very well, I'd say. That Neulasta shot tomorrow might put a bit of a kink in things, but I"m going to just assume that it will go as well as the chemo has so far. I reckon I'll have a crash in a few days, maybe, but for now, I'm just grateful for what I have!

Blessings to all,

Jennifer